But whatever the underlying issue, these three women learned to deal with the underlying reasons they gained the weight so they could undertake the difficult journey of losing it. In My Shoes Blogger Cammy Chapel (Tippy Toe Diet.com), 52, Memphis, TN "We don't have anything that will fit you here.Your sizes are somewhere else." It's been 20 years and those words—spoken loudly and rudely by a clerk in a high-end department store—still sting.Some people cope with the loss of a child by turning to alcohol or drugs. When Joshua died, I was 40 or 50 pounds overweight.
Especially when the person doing the judging is far from perfect herself.
Feeding My Emotions Blogger Audrey Holden (Iam Barking Mad.com), 41, Saratoga Springs, NY I was sitting against the plush black leather of the limousine as it carried me away from the grave of my 2-year-old son, Joshua, who had been killed days earlier after being struck by a pickup truck. With bitter tears running down my cheeks, I closed my eyes and pictured the platters of roast beef, creamy mashed potatoes and assorted pastries that my friends had lovingly set out at the wake.
Every time I lost and regained I felt like more of a failure.
My struggle with weight has been compounded by a society that sees the obese as something akin to lepers.
I know how hurtful and demoralizing it is when other people do it to me, and the idea that I could be inflicting those feelings on other people feels even worse.
They deserve compassion and acceptance, not judgment.But my thick waistline didn't equate to thick skin, and I hated knowing that those people assumed I was lazy or undisciplined or apathetic.When I finally committed to losing the weight, my main motivation was better health.Yes, I'm healthier and more fit than I used to be, but some well-meaning people seem to view me as a formerly overweight person who needs to be monitored.One friend called recently, crowing that he'd "caught" me going to Taco Bell for lunch.The day I realized that I wanted to live and discard the shroud that I had used as protection against the pain of losing my son came a few months ago, when I broke a toilet seat because I was so obese.For the first time in years I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a person—not just a huge mound of flesh, but a real woman who was so guilt-ridden about not being able to save her son that she didn't think she was worthy of making the changes necessary to save herself.So I'm finally committed to doing what it takes to start losing the weight.The moment that toilet seat cracked was when my hard shell of self-loathing cracked as well.I've been passed over for jobs due to my weight, and my insurance company specifically excludes any treatment for obesity. I've spent the last three years mostly indoors, hiding from the world, and at times my self-esteem has been nonexistent.At one point, I became so depressed that I contemplated committing suicide.